Sunday, December 13, 2009

I look at my children and see how blessed I am. They are safe. They are loved. They are healthy. Their needs are meet, they may not have their wants but 2 and 3 year olds want everything. They are healthy.
This week I found out that a woman that I used to work with son has lymphoma, stage 4. He is in middle school. He is very smart. He knows what is going on. I can't even being to image what Jennifer is going through. As Moms we make sure that are kids are safe from all dangers, but this on is one that you never see coming until it is all right there threatening your child's life. Why does it always take something like this to open our eyes to what we have? I know that I have be every so much more thankful for the health and happiness of my children, nothing means more to me than that. Then on the other hand it scares me to think what might be down the road for one of my boys, but then that is a pretty big might. One never knows what is wanting down the road. Love your children, be thankful they are safe, happy, loved, and happy.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Well it is that time again, Thanksgiving and tonight is the annual Thanksgiving Dinner at the Smith House. This will be the first year and the first major holiday with out my grandmother. Not sure how tonight is going to go, I expect that it will be a mixture of happiness and sadness. Not sure who all is going to be there tonight and I have to say that part of me is looking forward to tonight and then part of me is not. Last year Aiden and I were both sick and we had to stay at home. How fitting was it that last year was my grandmother's last Thanksgiving and Christmas and my father who has not gone to a family gathering for that side in years and yes I do mean years, was at both! We'll have to wait and see it if goes tonight. 

Saturday, November 14, 2009

What a week!

Oh my what a week! Let's just say that there are things that happened this week that I wished had never happened. But that does not change the facts that it did happen and the best that I can do is play the cards that have been dealt to me and do it with a song in my heart and a smile on my face! Of course the week wasn't all bad! Riley is doing so good with the potty training, he doesn't come tell me when he has to go he just goes into the bathroom and does his business. He has only had 2 accidents in the last week and they were both yesterday and one I hardly count because we were in the car from 8:30ish to 11:30ish without stopping. Aiden had a tummy virus but that only lasted for 12 hours, I got really lucky in that! Poor little thing did not feel good at all while he was sick! At school I got a 98 on my Sociology test! Yeah for me! I thought that I got in the B range! As for the bad part of this week! I want it fit but don't see how to yet. Just gotta keep working on it till I figure it out! And to top it off I feel like I am going to get sick, I so hope that I don't! Well, just have to take and see and keep the faith!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Brother's EX

Okay now I know that it take 2 to make a marriage and it takes the same 2 to end a marriage. For some unknown reason my brother wants to try to get back together with his ex. I am trying my best to put all things a side for my brother's happiness. I think that we all can agree that what she did and how she went about things were hurtfully and wrong. God teaches forgiveness and I am trying to so just that! I have extended invitations which she never accepts.  We welcomed her into our family no questions asked, even though she was carrying another man's baby. We even accepted the baby no questions ask, came to think of him as our own. Love doesn't always see blood, it see what the heart wants it to see. Timmy, how I miss him. If they happen not to get back together he will never know how much we love him, even to this day! She said the she would never take Timmy away from us no matter what happened between her and Chris, well guess what! She did! And that hurts like hell, it has almost been like morning a death, except that we know that he is okay and happy. Will she break my brother's heart again?

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Ahhh it has been awhile. Since June? Wow. No much has changed, the pain has eased up, it is still there and the missing is still there. Today I was thinking about Thanksgiving, we always go to the Smith House, that was our Thanksgiving/Christmas gift from Nanny. It was her wish that after her death that we keep going. I was wondering how it was going to go, of course it will not be the same. Half of the family is not going to come, or so I think. But we must go one. 
Shane is still the same, crap, he is never going to change. He did pay 1 child support payment, only because he was about to go to jail. What is up with men not wanting to take care of their children. There are some out there who do and actually they are the majority. Why, then, does mine have to be the minority. 
The boys, Riley is potty training, until now he has not wanted to but I have refused to buy pull-ups for him unless they are night time. Aiden has turned 2 and the day that he turned to the terrible 2s hit. Got one coming out and one going into of the terrible 2s, but that is what I get for having them so close. 

Monday, June 22, 2009

June 22

Okay like what the fizzy! I just don't understand and quite frankly, I don't care to understand. I know all that I need to know. And that would be you ask? That a certain someone, lets call him Shane, does not give a hoot about this kids, that is unless it is Micheal. OUR two, well they are chopped liver. I call to say that I have Riley at the doctor, does he bother to call and ask what is wrong..... hecks no. I called Friday to say that I had Aiden to the doctor and has he called to see how he is...... NO. When was the last time that he bothered to pay any child support. That would be November. Well Manda made a little trip today to OCCS and when and if he makes a payment, he he he he, the payment doesn't go to Shellan alone, they slipt it. he he he. I know that it is going to make Shellan mad but oh well she is just going to have to get mad, I can't help it, she can take it up with Shane. ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahhhahahahahahahahahahah.
ok I feel better now, no not really.
What makes me so mad is that he does not know what he is missing, Riley and Aiden are the most amazing boys ever and they bring so much joy into my life. But if that is what he wants then so be it I am tried of fighthing over it. I am done! He can have his sorry little life and leave me and my boys alone.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

June 20th

Ahhh. the heat need one say more. well things are still going. nanny is still gone and i am still dealing with that, why is this is hard? I am getting ready for my second quarter of school, just one more week. shane still has nothing to do whatsoever with his children, not that i excepted any thing else. And that is the reason for my trip on Monday. To the Child Support Enforcement. Do you have any idea how it feels to be the only white person sitting in there!?!?!?!? Well if shane where to be a man then i would not have to be there now would I. And Shane knowing what a man is well that is a joke.