Sunday, December 13, 2009

I look at my children and see how blessed I am. They are safe. They are loved. They are healthy. Their needs are meet, they may not have their wants but 2 and 3 year olds want everything. They are healthy.
This week I found out that a woman that I used to work with son has lymphoma, stage 4. He is in middle school. He is very smart. He knows what is going on. I can't even being to image what Jennifer is going through. As Moms we make sure that are kids are safe from all dangers, but this on is one that you never see coming until it is all right there threatening your child's life. Why does it always take something like this to open our eyes to what we have? I know that I have be every so much more thankful for the health and happiness of my children, nothing means more to me than that. Then on the other hand it scares me to think what might be down the road for one of my boys, but then that is a pretty big might. One never knows what is wanting down the road. Love your children, be thankful they are safe, happy, loved, and happy.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Well it is that time again, Thanksgiving and tonight is the annual Thanksgiving Dinner at the Smith House. This will be the first year and the first major holiday with out my grandmother. Not sure how tonight is going to go, I expect that it will be a mixture of happiness and sadness. Not sure who all is going to be there tonight and I have to say that part of me is looking forward to tonight and then part of me is not. Last year Aiden and I were both sick and we had to stay at home. How fitting was it that last year was my grandmother's last Thanksgiving and Christmas and my father who has not gone to a family gathering for that side in years and yes I do mean years, was at both! We'll have to wait and see it if goes tonight. 

Saturday, November 14, 2009

What a week!

Oh my what a week! Let's just say that there are things that happened this week that I wished had never happened. But that does not change the facts that it did happen and the best that I can do is play the cards that have been dealt to me and do it with a song in my heart and a smile on my face! Of course the week wasn't all bad! Riley is doing so good with the potty training, he doesn't come tell me when he has to go he just goes into the bathroom and does his business. He has only had 2 accidents in the last week and they were both yesterday and one I hardly count because we were in the car from 8:30ish to 11:30ish without stopping. Aiden had a tummy virus but that only lasted for 12 hours, I got really lucky in that! Poor little thing did not feel good at all while he was sick! At school I got a 98 on my Sociology test! Yeah for me! I thought that I got in the B range! As for the bad part of this week! I want it fit but don't see how to yet. Just gotta keep working on it till I figure it out! And to top it off I feel like I am going to get sick, I so hope that I don't! Well, just have to take and see and keep the faith!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Brother's EX

Okay now I know that it take 2 to make a marriage and it takes the same 2 to end a marriage. For some unknown reason my brother wants to try to get back together with his ex. I am trying my best to put all things a side for my brother's happiness. I think that we all can agree that what she did and how she went about things were hurtfully and wrong. God teaches forgiveness and I am trying to so just that! I have extended invitations which she never accepts.  We welcomed her into our family no questions asked, even though she was carrying another man's baby. We even accepted the baby no questions ask, came to think of him as our own. Love doesn't always see blood, it see what the heart wants it to see. Timmy, how I miss him. If they happen not to get back together he will never know how much we love him, even to this day! She said the she would never take Timmy away from us no matter what happened between her and Chris, well guess what! She did! And that hurts like hell, it has almost been like morning a death, except that we know that he is okay and happy. Will she break my brother's heart again?

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Ahhh it has been awhile. Since June? Wow. No much has changed, the pain has eased up, it is still there and the missing is still there. Today I was thinking about Thanksgiving, we always go to the Smith House, that was our Thanksgiving/Christmas gift from Nanny. It was her wish that after her death that we keep going. I was wondering how it was going to go, of course it will not be the same. Half of the family is not going to come, or so I think. But we must go one. 
Shane is still the same, crap, he is never going to change. He did pay 1 child support payment, only because he was about to go to jail. What is up with men not wanting to take care of their children. There are some out there who do and actually they are the majority. Why, then, does mine have to be the minority. 
The boys, Riley is potty training, until now he has not wanted to but I have refused to buy pull-ups for him unless they are night time. Aiden has turned 2 and the day that he turned to the terrible 2s hit. Got one coming out and one going into of the terrible 2s, but that is what I get for having them so close. 

Monday, June 22, 2009

June 22

Okay like what the fizzy! I just don't understand and quite frankly, I don't care to understand. I know all that I need to know. And that would be you ask? That a certain someone, lets call him Shane, does not give a hoot about this kids, that is unless it is Micheal. OUR two, well they are chopped liver. I call to say that I have Riley at the doctor, does he bother to call and ask what is wrong..... hecks no. I called Friday to say that I had Aiden to the doctor and has he called to see how he is...... NO. When was the last time that he bothered to pay any child support. That would be November. Well Manda made a little trip today to OCCS and when and if he makes a payment, he he he he, the payment doesn't go to Shellan alone, they slipt it. he he he. I know that it is going to make Shellan mad but oh well she is just going to have to get mad, I can't help it, she can take it up with Shane. ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahhhahahahahahahahahahah.
ok I feel better now, no not really.
What makes me so mad is that he does not know what he is missing, Riley and Aiden are the most amazing boys ever and they bring so much joy into my life. But if that is what he wants then so be it I am tried of fighthing over it. I am done! He can have his sorry little life and leave me and my boys alone.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

June 20th

Ahhh. the heat need one say more. well things are still going. nanny is still gone and i am still dealing with that, why is this is hard? I am getting ready for my second quarter of school, just one more week. shane still has nothing to do whatsoever with his children, not that i excepted any thing else. And that is the reason for my trip on Monday. To the Child Support Enforcement. Do you have any idea how it feels to be the only white person sitting in there!?!?!?!? Well if shane where to be a man then i would not have to be there now would I. And Shane knowing what a man is well that is a joke.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

May 31st

All right, this may get dark and depressing for a little bit! Going through the stages of Grief! Oh happy day. : /

I keep expecting for it to hit me. Nanny is dead. I was there, I saw it. Why then do I refuse to want to believe that she is really gone? Crap I WANT HER BACK!!!!! That is one side, the other knows that this is where she wants to be. She was looking forward to seeing her Dad again, she told me so one day when we were talking. I am happy that she has gotten to see her Dad again but that doesn't completely ease my pain know does it! I know, I know, I am being a baby but this is the first person that was really close to me that has gone on. My cousin I barely knew, I was 6, he was 13, the same thing with my great grand parents, one I knew more about and had seen, the other I only heard stories about, not exactly the kind of great grandma you would want to have your kids around. But that is another story for another time. 29 years. I had 29 years with Nanny, lived next to her most of my life, all but 6 years. Now that I am no longer married and have 2 kids I began to look up to her even more, I mean she raised 6 kids on her own and one of them was in invalid. My heart aches, I don't want to deal with the pain for so long now my dealing with the pain was pushing it back, now I have no choice I have to deal with the pain or become that person that I became back then, I have healed some since then and I have no desire to go back. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream. I want, crap I don't know what I want! I think that anger and denial are coming together. Yes I know that is all screwed but but hey this is me what did you expect. I have ever do anything the easy was? Don't answer that! Then I am getting mad at Shane for not pulling his wieght has a parent. Oh come on now. Why now do I get mad to him! I guess he is just my target for my anger, I kinda of like the target, he needs to step up and be a mad and take care of his kids. From what I remember he was there to when they were created. There is so much more that I want to get out but I don't know the words to explain it so for now I will go and work on my Math homework!!

Monday, May 25, 2009

May 25th

Ahh Memorial Day. A day to remember those that have fought for this country. But how many of us really take the time to stop and remember and say Thanks for what they have done and what they continue to do even today. I guess being a sister to a Marine and having a very close family friend that was a Marine, God rest his soul, I know that these men and women and their families endore for us. The time away from family and friends is just the start, they go through training that would break the weak, then are shipped off to a forgien land with a gun in hand and told to shoot to kill. Take a second and think about the mental part of that, knowing that you have taken a human life, granted some of them need to be taken out (Hitler and the 3rd Right, and well that crazy guy that was in the Iraq, Saddam Hussien.) Then if they are lucky enough to make it home that haunts them for how long? Then there are those that are gone. All gave some, and some gave all. Those that have given all, then of what they went through, I don't even what to think about that, to be far from home, laying their wanting loved ones near and yet knowing that they can not be there. And they did all of this for? For you. For me. For this country that they love. Has the country done them proud? What would they think of it today?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

May 5th

Wow how time has flown by!!! I am now back in school, I am changing my major to Nursing. Funny but this is something that I should have done a long time ago. Kids change everything. But I guess going back to school now is better than not have gone at all! My Grandmother, Ruby, my mom's mother, has lung cancer. We found out March 25. Easy day to remember, I was in Norcross and that WAS mine and Shane wedding anniversary. Come to find out she has some type of scan 4 years ago and there was something that the scan, so we think that she has had cancer for 4 years now, so the good part is that it is a slow growing cancer but the bad news is that we missed 4 years of knowing and now she is getting worse each day. I am glad that I have gotten to have this time with her, that I live next door and that I get to help out when I can, it is not every easy when you have 2 toddlers to take care of and are going to school full time. I have also started helping Dad cut grass because he is getting to where he can't. I know that I am not the only one that is going through something like this and I take comfort in knowing that and I know that with God's strength we will make it through. I know that if I tried to do this on my own that I could never make it but with God's love and strenght I can. On the plus side I get to work on my tan while cutting the grass, Hey you have to try to find the bright side of things, eles you might go crazy, trust me on this!!!
Riley and Aiden are growing by leaps and bounds! Riley and Aiden got new beds, they can become bunkbeds later down the road. Aiden has done good sleeping in his big boy bed! Riley likes his new bed too, he did not put up on bit of a fuss when we got rid of the car bed! I am so glad that we have gotten rid of it. It is a cool bed, but not when you have 2 kids in one room, it is a little too big for that. Aiden is talking more and more and Riley is still the same old Riley. I thank God for them!!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

April 10th

Oh okay so it has been awhile, a long while. Ahhhhh!!!!! What was I thinking? There is no way that I can go to school, take care of 2 kids, and keep house! Riley is always into something, always! Aiden is, well he is my shadow and Riley makes him cry all of the time. Potty training, oh that is a blast that I am not even going to touch right now! Then there is Nanny, who has cancer! She is not the first and she will not be the last. She thinks that she can be as rude as she wants to who ever she wants and leaves my mom to smooth things over. Mom is over there most of the time and when she is not she is laying down. Hell Shannon lives over there what does he do???!?!?!? I would ask Shane to watch the boys so that I could study, but Hell has a better chance of freezing over than Shane watching his children. He claims to have Congestive Heart Failure! Yeah, and I am dating Rob Pattinson!!! That'll be the day! Stress, stress,and more stress! Ah the life of a Mom going back to school! Hey I am not the first and I am sure that I won't be the last. I can do this, I have to do this. Riley and Aiden are depending on me to do this, therefore I will!!!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Jan 20th

Well we have a new President. Not sure how I feel about it yet. I hope that he will be a good President and that he will follow God, but only time will tell. Aiden is running a temp again, it is only 100.9. Has been on Omincef for an ear infection since the 14th, a one week today he and has a follow up check on the 27th next Tuesday since he had an ear infection last month. Not sure what to do up check an eye on him. Riley wants Chocolateberry milk. Strange story. Bye for now.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Jan 9th

Okay so I need to go back to yesterday. I am not ruling out dating, if someone where to ask, which is doutful that anyone will, and if I like them then I would say yes. I am not going to sit around. My life being boring, that would be my social life and that is my fault. Long story. Working on things though.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Jan 8th

Well as always there is not much going on in my dull and boring life. I did run around today trying to have papers served on Shane. I have to have them filed at the Jackson County Court House, at least know I know where I have to go. Ya know this sucks having to go through all of this, having the papers severed and having to file the contempt papers, I shouldn't have to be doing this but because Shane wants to be a deadbeat this is now part of my life. Oh well. So other than that there is nothing going on, Like I said dull and boring. I am trying NOT to develop a crush on someone, so far it has not be so hard. Not sure if I am ready for that step, but who knows. I have tried it my way now I am going to try it God's way and when He knows that I am ready, well then it will happen but until then there are so many other things to keep me busy.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Jan. 5th

Well today was not so bad. There is not much that I can complain about and that in itself is a huge blessing. I have, for some strange reason, decided to wash the walls. Yes wash the walls, there are 2 smokers in the house and they could use it and it keeps me moving. I am becoming more and more domesticated. Note for a string ray sting put the affected area in hot water, it breaks down the vemon, yes I know that was completly random, I am watching Ocean Force on Tru Tv. So back to the day. So I cleaned the house, when to the health department, and went to Kroger, and cooked super. Yes like I said before I am becoming more and more domesticated. Lucky me. Well now we see what tommorow holds. Oh mom has the shingles, sucks for her, not a good what to start the new year. Riley and Aiden were both really good today. Aiden is beating the wall, kid doesn't want to go to sleep and Riley has to have a collection of toys in his bed before he can go to bed.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Jan. 4th

I guess the best place to start would be with a little bit about me and mine.

I am, Amanda aka Mommy, Manders, or Bitch (as the ex would perfer :P.) I have two wonderful boys; Riley, 2 1/2, and Aiden, 1. I am divorced and have been since September 2008, trust me it is better this way. I am a lot happier this way and the boys are better off. I am currently laid off and am working one going back to school. I am still working on getting my life back together, somehow I allowed my life not be my own while I was with the ex. I have one brother, Chris, who is in Iraq at the present time, he is a civilan contractor. This is our thrid trip over there. i say our because even though he is the one that is over there, it affects the whole family, he is over there so part of our hearts are over there. Me and the boys live with my Mom and Dad, it has it ups and downs.

Riley Jackson, aka Riley Jack. Born March 7th, 2006. My First born. He loves all the boy things, trucks, monster trucks, Thomas the Train, soccer ball (as he calls it), coloring, and beating up on his little bro. He also is starting to get into movies, I think that he has watched cars so much that he knows every line, and he is getting into the Mummy, which does not bother me because those are so of my favs.

Aiden Jacob, aka Aiden Jake. Born October 10th, 2007. The baby. He is his own. He is into trying to stay out of his brothers way, at least until he is big enough to fight his back. He loves anything with wheels that he can push and loves walking he walks just to walk, he is so funny. He is learning to talk and uses his baby jabber all of the time and points his little index finger and everything that he is talking about, he is a sight. So funny. Oh and loves to play with the computer.

Maddie Sue, aka Maddie, Giz, Gizmo, the list could on and on...... Born July 13th, 2001. My "first born." Maddie is my dog, she is a Chihuahua. She has been with me through a lot, sometimes is felt like is was the only one. Maddie enjoys puppy treats and laying around.

I almost forgot the newest member of the Waters Clan. Pickles. Pickles is a black cat that founds it way to Lakeside Plumbing. Skipper, the owners Chihuahua, and Pickles got in a fight or someone step on Pickles foot and it got hurt. So Pickles came to live with us. He is a good cat. He lets the boys play with him. He enjoys sitting outside and looking through the window when he is not in here with us.

Well this is my family. My little family of 3 plus one Chihahua and one cat. So maybe you will return and see what this years holds for us. I hope that you do and I hope that this year is a good year.